a deep longing♥

i have a deep crave, a longing, a need...
after my recent realization of my hate of 'real talk' i have made yet another realization...
i crave it...
i need it.

i'm tired of all this mindless chatter... frankly, its pretty pathetic.
what ever happend to having a deep conversation with someone?
i figured out that only once...in my ENTIRE 19 years have i had a DEEP DEEP conversation with someone...
sadly...
that was about a month ago...
shortly after our 'deep conversation' we quit talking entirely.

sad isnt it?
i'm not entirely sure what i did to make you run...maybe it was my testimony? maybe it was the fact that yours didnt scare me? i dont know...
but i really miss talking to you...
not that you'll read this... nor do you probably care...

anyhow...i TRIED having this conversation with my 'best friend' the other night and she flipped on me saying you cant "beg" for real, deep conversation... so, if you do read this*anyone*dont take it as me begging... this is my rant...
im just frustrated is all...

trying to find a way to ...
breathe.