i'm no longer gasping for air to soothe my aching lungs♥

hello, hello, hello.

so, let me confess a little somethin somethin to my readers...
my little blog my quiet times idea--yeahhh....not happening.

this is NOT because of a lack of quiet times...but because of a lack of time for blogging

and i hear a resounding *gasp* from all the tortured poet coffee house bloggers.

yes...there is such a thing as no time for blogging. you should possibly find it.

bahha

different story completely-continuing on.

:)
But, i just wanted to fill yall in with what is currently controlling my thoughts-my time-my life.

rain.

umm--hellur?! doesnt everyone see the lake in their front yards...and back yards...roads...everywhere. i definitely understand that the rain is currently in a place where it is harming homes and lives--but, i still see the beauty in this rain.

Rain-to me-shows my God's love. Thunder shows His strength. And lightning shows his anger. All these qualities are my God.

My God's love--He sent His ONLY son for me. He didn't do it because He was obligated. No one was holding a gun to his head MAKING him do it. He did it because He wanted to. Even if i was the only person in the history of the world who would EVER come to know him... he would have still done it. THAT, my friends, is love!

My God's strength--He is MIGHTY! If you know me at all, you know that i refer to God as Papa. *as me why and i'll tell ya :) but as for right now--that story is slightly irrelevant.* I have such a relationship with God that i feel as though He is the perfect daddy. Ya know--the one that can kill the monsters and scare the storms away? Yup-thats him :) Well-when it thunders, it scares me. It makes me remember that he is always protecting me from whatever comes. I can crawl into his arms and shiver like a frightened child--He is always big enough to hold me close and His heart always beats in my ear...even though sometimes i run away and stop hearing it for a while.

My God's anger--His anger is righteous. He HATES what is evil. His lightning makes me remember that he can always smite me like the piece of crap that i am. I need to always be a God-fearing woman.

My God is alive!

Just to keep ya'll up to date--I'm currently doing 'Our Daily Bread' everyday as well as reading a chapter of Proverbs everyday *whichever correlates with the day of the month* I decided tonight to do an in depth study *on my own* of James. I have done kind of in depth studies of James before, and we did this semester at school--but i really feel like it is something that i need to do on my own...especially with my new Bib Interp knowledge :)

So, right now...i'm still learning how to breathe. I'm no longer gasping for something to soothe my aching lungs. God is here. He isn't ever leaving me--no matter now many times i leave him...He's always waiting for me with open arms.

the prodigal daughter has returned.

Day One!

Today has been absolutely amazing.

It's crazy how God can show you so much important stuff through the little things in life...

So why has it been so fantastic?
Let me tell you...

Well, this morning...it was raining. Haha, most mornings that would just be a drag...having to get up and go to class and trudge through all of the lakes between here and the Maddox...
BUT, i woke up late. Normally, that would be the end of life as I knew it..i mean...me? Skip my psych class? BUUUT, then i remembered that my class was cancelled :) Amazin thing number 1 :)

So, i skipped theatre apprec, because i just didnt have enough time to get ready. So, Dee, Randi, and I all laid in bed and talked. Amazin thing number 2 :)

THEN--I went to workstudy and decided on my new plan for my blog. And blogged a bit. Then, i got really distracted by the rain... Grace like rain popped in my head. All i could think about was how truly amazing God is... He didn't HAVE to die for me... He didnt HAVE to do anything for me... He didnt NEED me... He WANTED me. Amazing thing number 3 :)

After classes and homework Becca and Nick and I were going to head to Jonesboro for tattoo time :) But surprise to me--Callison and Ashley came too. At first i was kind of like, oh great, i'm going to be all awkwardly left out and stuff....but i was included. Amazing thing number 4 :)

Then i got my tattoo :) People have been asking me up and down why on earth i got a lightbulb. Well, let me tell you ♥
            "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
                                              -Matthew 5:14-16
My lightbulb is a reminder of my calling in life. Christ said in Matthew 28:19-20, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything i have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." I am suppose to be that light. Why would i choose to put my tattoo in a place where i would cover it up? I put it on a stand so that it will remind me to give light to everyone in my "house." As i am going, i am going to try my hardest to allow God to use me to make disciples. Amazing thing number 5 :)

At the restaurant I shared my testimony and then on the way home, Nick shared his. God has given us these wonderful stories of salvation, yet...how often do we share them? I feel like when i tell people my story...i am giving them a piece of my heart. not only am i giving them a piece of my heart, but i am giving them a mere glimpse of my Father's heart. As we tell our stories, we are connecting with people in a way that is unachieveable any other way. I am building Godly relationships with these people. Amazing thing number 6 :)

And last but not least, Amazing thing number 7 :)
--God is building relationships with me and other Christians. I feel like lately my conversations and friendships have been monotonous. My conversations have been anything but Christian. Before tonight...when was the last time i had a good Jesus talk over dinner? Sadly, i cannot even remember... Christ is suppose to be my focal point at ALL TIMES. yet, He rarely is. This is changing. Thats that. If i have to change my friendships, if i have to change my thoughts, if i have to change my actions, if i have to change my "lunchbuddies"... so be it. Life is wonderful, and it has quite a lot to do with my fellowship with other believers.

Although this may not seem like a "quiet time," it WAS God time... which is the same thing to me. I'm listening to His faint voice right now. All i hear is Him getting louder and louder :)

...breathing♥

howdy ya'll :)

after many tears and angry faces, everything seems back to "normal." well, as normal as it can be with me...

This past few weeks has been a pretty difficult journey for me. I've stopped relying on God and I started putting my own idols above my relationship with Him. It's really pathetic because every single time, I know what I am doing and how it will hurt me in the end...yet I do it anyways.

My quiet time? --Nonexistant
My walk? --More of a trip and fall sequence
My faith? --Not in the right hands

So? What shall I do about it?

You guessed it... Blog.

This is where my readers come in...
yes, that would be ya'll. Der da der.

I have a plan--I love blogging, yes?
*resounding yes*
Well, I am going to blog my quiet times and link them to facebook...
Maybe then I'll be more apt to actually do one...and do one that is even minorly worthwhile.

And, let's say you don't care about my quiet time blogs? Ehh? Well, I'll keep writing my "normal" blogs...I'll just label them differently. My quiet time blogs will be labeled(sp?) Day One, Day Two... and so on and so forth. All my others will have their ohhhh so clever names :D

I'm not entirely sure who all reads my blog...but maybe you need some quiet time too...if so, don't rely on mine. I am, by no means, a scholar... Half of what I say (or even more) can be totally off kilter, it's my thoughts and my feelings. Remember that :)

I love ya,ll...a whole bunch of hearts. Sooo, keep reading.

i'm gonna let God....
....teach me to breathe... ♥

DO NOT ENTER, UNLESS YOU WANT THE TRUTH!

i'm tired of liars.
i'm tired of thieves
i'm tired of people who want to act perfect.
i'm tired of people who pretend to be your friend then stab you in the back.
i'm tired of people who purposely irritate you and then say sorry.
i'm tired of people who arent real.

it's pathetic, but it seems to me like the most legit people are the nonChristians and the fake ones are "Christians". shouldnt that be the other way around? shouldnt people see the Christians as being legit and the fake people being fake?

i know it sounds bad... but... if i didnt find Christ before i found "Christians" i probably wouldnt be one.

i know it sounds bad... but... if i found "friends" before i found these "friendships" i would still be a loner... but this time by choice.